Deadlift/pistol/double-under workout ... "Sea of Green" in the background!
So, it's Week 77 - 77 weeks since I started training for the 2009 CrossFit Games. 2010 CrossFit Games have come and gone and somehow I'm left more motivated than ever, quite a different place from where I was last year post big-show. Last year I didn't want to talk about CrossFit, think about CrossFit, do any CrossFit for months. I was drained, exhausted and over it all. And now, here I am, one week post-Games and I've already done 3 wods, ripped my hands, am so sore I can barely sneeze, and am chomping at the unicorn bit to go again.
For the past year, I've been able to call myself the 25th Fittest Woman on Earth - and for the next year I will be able to call myself the 28th Fittest Woman on Earth. Last year I shared 25th with Chris Spealler who placed 25th alongside me in 2009. This year I share 28th with James "OPT" Fitzgerald. These two men are both heroes of mine and have really helped give me another perspective as to my standings in the grand scheme of things - I'm honored to be even perceived as in the same league as the two of them.
I'd be lying if I said 28th feels satisfying to me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that I didn't make it past the first cut. I'd be lying if I said I was happy that I didn't have to scale that wall with a mountain of sandbags.... I am fucking pissed off that I didn't get to go ninja on that wall!! I'm not disappointed in my performance, I truly did the best I could do in the moment. I'm instead inspired to come home and realize a whole new level. I believe that's why I'm so drawn to CrossFit as my sport... no matter how fit one gets, there's always the next level to reach for. I think challenge and overcoming is my craving and nothing fixes it for me like CrossFit.
For the past year, I've been able to call myself the 25th Fittest Woman on Earth - and for the next year I will be able to call myself the 28th Fittest Woman on Earth. Last year I shared 25th with Chris Spealler who placed 25th alongside me in 2009. This year I share 28th with James "OPT" Fitzgerald. These two men are both heroes of mine and have really helped give me another perspective as to my standings in the grand scheme of things - I'm honored to be even perceived as in the same league as the two of them.
I'd be lying if I said 28th feels satisfying to me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that I didn't make it past the first cut. I'd be lying if I said I was happy that I didn't have to scale that wall with a mountain of sandbags.... I am fucking pissed off that I didn't get to go ninja on that wall!! I'm not disappointed in my performance, I truly did the best I could do in the moment. I'm instead inspired to come home and realize a whole new level. I believe that's why I'm so drawn to CrossFit as my sport... no matter how fit one gets, there's always the next level to reach for. I think challenge and overcoming is my craving and nothing fixes it for me like CrossFit.
I'm sure I'm not alone in the mental replay of events and simultaneously kicking myself for what I should have done instead... I shouldn't have no-repped any muscle-ups because my thumb wasn't flashing forward. I should have eaten breakfast on Saturday morning. I shouldn't have run that 1200 at a 6-minute mile pace and done 50 unbroken swings, should have paced it a little better. I should have put more weight on the bar for my overhead lift - it might have bumped me up a few more spots. I shouldn't have started my final workout with 7 deadlifts that didn't even count because of a false-start. I should have cranked out more pistols... AUGH!! I could make myself crazy! Ultimately, none of those things matter now - they no longer exist and I can't go back and fix them. All I have is right now and what I CAN do is get back in the gym and suck it up and bust my ass -- every damn day. And that's what I'm doing.
Right now, this very minute, I consider myself in training for the 2011 CrossFit Games.
I plan on enlisting the help of the person I now consider to be my coach, CJ Martin, of CrossFit Invictus (click "Sea of Green," above.) The Invictus crew was so completely amazing, I felt so welcome with them. Here at home in Atlanta/Decatur, our members at CrossFit East Decatur are like family; everyone supportive, warm, accepting and giving. It was no different with the Invictus crew and they are everything that CFED is and strives to be. My deepest gratitude goes to CJ, who, had a team competing, an individual competing and a Master competing -- he was there for me every second that I needed him and was at the venue before I arrived and after I left every single day of the competition. Pops and "Krazy K" fed us the most delicious food (thanks to Coach B for sponsoring the delicious flank steak on Saturday night - holy deliciousness, Batman!) Nuno made me listen to Beyonce and helped me shake off my post-bad-wod blues. Sage, Nichole and Michelle were highly entertaining, inspirational and taught me how to REALLY use the word "ah-mazing" to it's full potential. I could go on and on and never be able to really express how much it meant to me to have a home away from home. I only hope to be able to return the favor some day.
Jonathan was my rock all weekend and is every day and I don't think I could make it through comp, or life, without him. Lauren S., Phil W., and Kristine are the best for making the trip all the way to Cali to be part of the support camp - from picture-taking to crazy taco-stand translating, this year's Games was more fun because of them!
I guess that's it for my post-Games wrap-up ... I apologize to my blog fans for not posting for the last 5 weeks, I was just super-busy and something had to give. I've had a lot of people message me or tell me in person that they follow my blog -- lack of comments had me thinking I was writing it to myself. Now that I know peeps are still out there reading, I will do my best to stay on top of it moving forward. Gotta go now, time to 3, 2, 1....
9 comments:
A phenomenally honest inspirational post. Thank you so much for sharing! Cant wait to cheer you on again in 2011 =)
Great to see you again. I look forward to seeing you next year too. Your head is in a much better space than last year. You always give your best out there. You are a great inspiration. I can't wait to see where CJ takes you. Stay strong, Keep positive. *hugs*
Hi Shana. I'm Kelly, I was at the Games with Donna. That was a beautifully written and very honest post, thank you for taking the time to write it. You are hugely inspirational and I look forward to reading your future posts (from Australia) to keep me motivated for life!
I've been following your blog since the games LAST year and have been inspired by your dedication and looked forward to watching you compete this year. I am so relieved to read that you are inspired to continue! I had hoped you felt good about how the games went for you because you did awesome. I mean how many women got to be interviewed? I look forward to your amusing and inspiring posts throughout your journey to the 2011 games.
Chad
Well you know where I stand Shana. You've been a great friend and a true inspiration to me. I mean, I started a blog because you said it was a good idea! haha. Anyways, glad to hear you're in a good place. That's great and I couldn't be more happy for you. Hopefully I'll see you soon.
Shana,
You are "ah-mazing!" I know I speak for the entire Invictus community when I say it has been a pleasure and an honor to share in your 2010 Games success. Thank you for allowing us to be part of your extended family. We all are looking forward to the journey of the upcoming months and to a successful 2011.
Kick ass post Shana - keep on transforming lives and leading by example :)
It was great meeting you Shana! You really kicked ass and I'm excited to see what you're able to accomplish in the coming year with CJ as your coach. Hope to see you around Invictus sometime soon!
Cheers,
Ben
<3<3<3 I heart all these lovely comments! <3<3<3
Thanks so much, all of you!
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